Your mother was wrong when she told you there’s no place like home. Look down the block. Or one neighborhood over. Odds are you’ll see a home pretty damn similar to yours.

Only a select number of people can claim to have truly original, truly unique, truly badass homes… and they’re all fictional. But that doesn’t mean we want them any less. The house hunt stops here.

7. Tony Stark’s House (Iron Man)

Talk about the definitive bachelor pad. Located in Point Dume, California, and perched atop a luxurious cliff, Tony Stark’s humble abode offers everything a growing boy needs—a built-in underground workshop and garage (complete with helpful robotic assistants), a sprawling collection of classic cars, and more electronics then your typical Best Buy location. Oh, and not to mention the Iron Man suit in the basement. That little beauty comes equipped with a self-contained environment, various onboard weapon systems, multiple communications displays, and the ability to fucking fly.

The only difference between this house and yours is everything

Toys not your thing? Then check out the cantilevered living room’s 270-degree view of the Pacific Ocean, which is sure to impress any lady friend who just happens to be visiting. All in all, Tony Stark’s house in the hills is enough to make any happily married man envy the life of the young, single, and ridiculously wealthy.

6. Burns Manor (The Simpsons)

Situated on the corner of Croesus and Mammon streets in the Springfield Heights district of Springfield, Burns Manor is a perversely lavish mansion that comes packed full of amenities. In one room you’ll find one thousand monkeys working on one thousand typewriters, in another you’ll find a human chessboard. The largest television in the free world is included in the living room. Have you ever watched baseball on a 300+ inch screen? It’s not any less boring, but you can get a great view of the delicious ballpark hot dogs.

Are you worried about security? Don’t be. Burns Manor is protected by a high wall, an electric fence, and a large pack of vicious attack dogs simply known as “The Hounds.” But if somehow somebody manages to get past all that, the mansion’s bottomless pit is operated with just the touch of a button. And that’s why Burn’s Manor is perfect for the cranky old man in all of us.

Just tapping it once could mean no more Jehovah’s Witnesses

5. Bag End (The Hobbit & The Lord of the Rings)

Maybe you’re more into modest homes, and we totally get that. There’s definitely something to be said about the coziness of sharing a small residence with loved ones, and that’s why Bag End, located in Hobbiton at the end of Bagshot Row, has made our list.

Bag End is a Hobbit-hole, which are small underground homes built into the hills. Don’t get the wrong impression—this is not a nasty, dirty, wet hole like you might associate with things underground. Hobbit-holes are synonymous with comfort. Bag End features a lovely green door with a brass knob, a large number of small rooms with round windows, and a peaceful garden. And although hobbits are known for their petite stature, there’s no need to worry about ceiling height. Bilbo Baggins, the home’s previous owner, was said to be often visited by larger guests, indicating that the ceilings are taller than one would expect. Personally, we’re sold. Invite over the elves, give the dwarves a call, and light up some pipe-weed. This feels like home.

Go easy on that stuff, Cheech

4. X-Mansion (X-Men)

1407 Graymalkin Lane, North Salem, in the northeast corner of Westchester County, has a whole lot going on. The X-Mansion, owned by Professor Xavier of the X-Men, is also the location of the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning (originally The Xavier School For Gifted Youngsters), the X-Corporation, and the training site of the X-Men themselves. If you can handle some riotous houseguests and the occasional defenses breach from supervillains, then X-Mansion might just prove to be some fantastic stomping ground.

Built in the late 1700s, the home features a large, tiled courtyard, an elevator that leads to the Restricted Access Sub-Levels and the Administration Wing, a basketball court, and a baseball diamond. There’s also a place to land and park your plane (you do have one, right?), a maze to practice and show off your superhuman abilities, and more forests and farmland than you can shake a stick at. Don’t forget the Cerebra Chamber, a large round room that can detect and amplify your mutant abilities. It’s really fun to bring your dog in there.

Someone spent too much time in the Cerebra Chamber!

3. The House of Usher (Edgar Allen Poe’s The Fall of the House of Usher)

Have you ever been asleep when something unexpectedly comes crashing down in your house? Okay. Multiply the scariness of that times a million and add a pair of ghastly (perhaps incestuous) siblings, and you’ve got yourself the House of Usher. It cracks, it rips, it screams, and it shakes. Simply put, the House of Usher is scary as hell. Which makes it all the more appealing. If you’ve got the balls.

When the narrator of Edgar Allen Poe’s The Fall of the House of Usher first visits the home, he notes how impressed he is with the owner’s paintings and the vegetation surrounding the house. Later, though, the charm of the place wears off. The owner explains that the house is completely self aware, acting on its own accord. And then we learn that the owner has entombed his sister alive. And when she breaks out to seek revenge (holy shit), he has a heart attack and croaks. Needless to say, the home has a lot of character.

Unfortunately, though, the chance to stay in this freaky paradise is lost. As the narrator flees from the home, it breaks into two and sinks into the ground. We would have stayed there, too. No really. We’re not scared.

Living with this Usher would be just as bad, but for different reasons altogether

2. Wayne Manor (Batman)

It’s really a shame that the Batcave gets all the attention when it comes to famous Dark Knight locations. Sure, the Batcave is nice—it’s a 27,000-square-foot underground cave system filled with goodies and gadgets. But what about the home that rests on top of the Batcave? What about the place where Batman hangs up his cape every night before bed? Well that’s called Wayne Manor, and it’s splendid.

This 7-bed, 11-bath gated compound sits on 39 acres of beautiful Gotham City land and has belonged to the Wayne family for several generations. It comes with a tireless, humorous, sarcastic, and cynical butler, a fantastic friend and confidant for when supervillians attack (or your mother-in-law visits). The house also features concealed parking for flying vehicles, and a place for your teenage sidekick to sleep.

Note: He does like to cuddle when he’s had a dream.

What makes us want to live at Wayne Manor the most? You’re in Gotham City! Can you ask for a town with any more action and excitement than that? Don’t you dare say Metropolis.

1. Barbie’s Dream House

Hold on a minute, just relax. Let us explain. There’s one thing that Barbie’s Dream House has that none of the other homes listed can even dream of having. When you look past the pink walls, the flimsy construction, and the 1970’s swinger style of the decorating, you’ll uncover something that would make living in the Dream House completely badass. It can have anything in the world inside.

The Dream House runs on imagination, people. You want a flat screen television? Done. You want a hot tub? It’s all yours. You want a built-in elevator? Sure. Well, actually, it already comes with a built-in elevator, so you’ll be getting that anyway. But you see where we’re going with this.

Plus, let’s face it, your housemates are pretty hot. And their heads come off pretty easy, so their excessive talking doesn’t have to be dealt with.

No one has to know a thing